Welcome to ballbnb

The world’s sack-friendliest stay! Legendary guests, premium ventilation, and a stank rank you won’t forget. Check in—if you dare.

Who We Are

ballbnb is not your average guest list—it’s a hilarious collection of questionable characters, each bringing their own flair, funk, and fragrance to the party.

  • VIPs – High-class, high-stank.
  • Everyday Guests – Regular guys, irregular odors.
  • Legends – Mythical funkmasters.
  • Wildcards – Pure chaos.

GUEST SPOTLIGHT

Preferred Scratch: The Pinch & Roll—precision is key.
Worst Fear: Skinny jeans & humid days.

Stank rank

Signature Cocktail: “The Airflow Old Fashioned”.
Relationship Status: “Married to the breeze, but open to drafts.”
Weirdest Talent: Can predict the weather just by standing still.
Signature Cocktail: “The Airflow Old Fashioned”.
Preferred Scratch: The Pinch & Roll—precision is key.
Worst Fear: Skinny jeans & humid days.
Relationship Status: “Married to the breeze, but open to drafts.”
Weirdest Talent: Can predict the weather just by standing still.

Stank rank

Preferred Scratch: The Renaissance Rake – elegant but aggressive.
Worst Fear: Getting caught mid-scratch in a meeting.

Stank rank

Signature Cocktail: The Talc & Tonic – gin, lime, and a dusting of baby powder.
Relationship Status: Committed to frequent adjustments.
Biggest Flex: Once performed a 10-second scratch undetected in a job interview.
Signature Cocktail: The Talc & Tonic – gin, lime, and a dusting of baby powder.
Preferred Scratch: The Renaissance Rake – elegant but aggressive.
Worst Fear: Getting caught mid-scratch in a meeting.
Relationship Status: Committed to frequent adjustments.
Biggest Flex: Once performed a 10-second scratch undetected in a job interview.

Stank rank

Preferred Scratch: The People’s Rub – firm, consistent, electrifying.
Guilty Pleasure: Sniffing his own gym gear before washing it.

Stank rank

Signature Cocktail: The Smackdown Spritz – tequila, citrus, and a post-gym cooldown.
Relationship Status: In an on-again, off-again relationship with moisture-wicking socks.
Biggest Flex: Once deadlifted a humidifier out of frustration.
Signature Cocktail: The Smackdown Spritz – tequila, citrus, and a post-gym cooldown.
Preferred Scratch: The People’s Rub – firm, consistent, electrifying.
Guilty Pleasure: Sniffing his own gym gear before washing it.
Relationship Status: In an on-again, off-again relationship with moisture-wicking socks.
Biggest Flex: Once deadlifted a humidifier out of frustration.

Stank rank

Preferred Scratch: The Neuralink Nudge – hands-free, AI-powered precision.
Worst Fear: Manual ventilation.

Stank rank

Signature Cocktail: The Teslatini – electrified gin martini.
Relationship Status: Dating an AI-controlled cooling unit.
Guilty Pleasure: Beta testing next-gen climate-controlled underwear.
Signature Cocktail: The Teslatini – electrified gin martini.
Preferred Scratch: The Neuralink Nudge – hands-free, AI-powered precision.
Worst Fear: Manual ventilation.
Relationship Status: Dating an AI-controlled cooling unit.
Guilty Pleasure: Beta testing next-gen climate-controlled underwear.

Stank rank

See More

Upcoming Collections: New Guests, Same Funk

Fresh funk is on the way! ballbnb is rolling out new, highly questionable guests—each with their own style, swagger, and suspicious scent.

The VIPs – First Class, No Class

Gold chains, jet passes, and an attitude that says ‘I don’t wait in lines.’ These guests expect upgrades, demand luxury, and tip… sometimes

VIP Access Only

The Legends – Timeless. Ageless. Funked Up.

Some guests come with beards of wisdom, elemental powers, and portal keys—but no clue what century they’re in. Ancient sages, time travelers, and guardians of legendary stank await.

Claim Your Destiny

The Wildcards – Absolute Mayhem, No Refunds

A storm of bad decisions just checked in. Questionable dance moves are in motion, the minibar is under siege, and chaos is inevitable. If you’re not ready… too late, they’ve taken over the lobby.

 Join the Madness

The Everyday Guests – Just Here for the Free Breakfast

Not every guest is a billionaire or a time-traveling wizard. Some just want a strong coffee, a comfortable weekend, and to avoid unnecessary leg sweat.

Check In Here

The ballbnb Roadmap: A Stank-Filled Journey

Phase 1

The VIPs Arrive

The first-class guests check in, hoarding perks, exclusive drops, and VIP-only giveaways.

Phase 3

The Legends Emerge 

The mythical ones appear—powerful, wise, and badly groomed. Expect Chrono Perks and cryptic giveaways.

Phase 2

The Wildcards Crash the Party

Chaos erupts with surprise airdrops, leaderboard rankings, and free mint access to Phase 3 for holders of Phase 1 and Phase 2.

Phase 2

The Wildcards Crash the Party

Chaos erupts with surprise airdrops, leaderboard rankings, and free mint access to Phase 3 for holders of Phase 1 and Phase 2.

Phase 4

The Everyday Guests Show Up

The final guests roll in, long-term holders get rewards, and yes, there will be IRL events.

The ballbnb Roadmap: A Stank-Filled Journey

Phase 1

The VIPs Arrive

The first-class guests check in, hoarding perks, exclusive drops, and VIP-only giveaways.

Phase 2

The Wildcards Crash the Party

Chaos erupts with surprise airdrops, leaderboard rankings, and free mint access to Phase 3 for holders of Phase 1 and Phase 2.

Phase 3

The Legends Emerge 

The mythical ones appear—powerful, wise, and badly groomed. Expect Chrono Perks and cryptic giveaways.

Phase 4

The Everyday Guests Show Up

The final guests roll in, long-term holders get rewards, and yes, there will be IRL events.

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Let ‘em breathe- premium comfort, no squeeze.